Dear Friends,
As I’ve been spending time in the Bible in recent weeks, there is a word that has been jumping out at me. It’s the word quarrel. And there’s no place I can find in scripture where this word is commended.
The dictionary defines a quarrel as “a heated argument or disagreement, typically about a trivial issue and between people who are usually on good terms.” When the Bible tells us that if possible, as far as it depends on us, we are to be at peace with all men, it’s telling us that quarrelling should have no place in our relationships.
It seems quarrelling was a problem in the early days of the church, just as it is in our day. The Apostle Paul appealed to the Corinthians, urging them to have no divisions among them. He was troubled by reports he was receiving about quarreling among the brothers. He told Timothy that his desire is that Christians would pray and lift up holy hands without anger or quarreling. He warned against those who have “an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions and constant friction among people.” He wrote to Titus, telling him to remind those in Crete to be “submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”
We may think of a quarrel as a small thing. But as I read through the New Testament epistles, I was reminded that quarreling finds itself on several lists that include what most of us think of as major sins.
“Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.” (Romans 13:13)
“For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.” (2 Corinthians 12:20)
“You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.” (James 4:2)
The point is clear. Quarreling is destructive. It says we value our opinions more than we value people. We’d rather be right than keep the peace. It can easily manifest itself in a marriage relationship, and when it does, nobody wins. Everyone loses.
In a culture where radio and TV package quarreling as entertainment or “news programming,” it’s easy for us to fall right into the pattern being set for us in our culture.
If you’re prone to quarreling, what do you do? Here are some thoughts for you to consider.
- Realize that you cannot quarrel and honor God simultaneously. That’s not to say you can never disagree with someone. And it doesn’t mean you should never hold your ground in a disagreement. But when your back and forth leads to a heated disagreement, especially when it’s over a trivial issue, you’re not loving your neighbor. Satan is delighted when that happens. God is not.
- Quarreling is not an indication of spiritual maturity. As we’re examining what characterizes spiritual maturity in our current series, it’s clear that the Bible would not identify someone who quarrels with others as godly person.
- Memorize a couple of verses that address quarreling. Verses like Proverbs 17:14: “The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.” Or Proverbs 20:3: “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.” Or Proverbs 26:20 “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.”
- Ask yourself, in the middle of a quarrel “is this really worth arguing over? Why do I care so much about winning this fight?”
- Remind yourself that God’s favor is never with a quarreler.
“Whoever desires to love life and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;
let him turn away from evil and do good;
let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
(1 Peter 3:10–12)
I thought you’d want to know that Awana got off to a great start tonight.
Lots of kids.
Lots of moms and dads.
And lots of fun songs with motions for everyone to sing together.
(https://redeemerlr.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=df57aea0670b59c32464d5bab&id=54548fdc0f&e=fbb0a4052b)
Please pray for the Awana program, for the leaders and the kids. Pray for safety and for a fruitful spiritual harvest in their lives.
Also, please keep praying for our efforts to add additional parking on our land at church. We’re hoping to have engineers on site this week to begin the work. Pray that we can proceed quickly and that the city will approve our project in a timely way.
Also, as I shared with you on Sunday, a generous individual has come forward and offered to match any donation we receive toward our expansion needs, up to a total of $100,000. I hope you’ll pray for God’s provision of the funds that will enable us to take full advantage of this matching gift offer. And I hope you’ll prayerful consider making a donation to our building fund. Using a check to make your donation saves us from paying processing fees. If it works best for you to make your donation online, click here (https://redeemerlr.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=df57aea0670b59c32464d5bab&id=c98246fc4a&e=fbb0a4052b) and use the drop down box on the donation page to designate your gift for the building project.
The Awana kids can’t be the only ones having fun. The First Friday Game Night for Roots Students is happening next week!
Our Redeemer Small Groups are starting up in less than two weeks. Here’s a list of group leaders and times when their group meets.
Remember, visiting a group isn’t a commitment to join. It’s an opportunity to check things out and see if being part of a particular group is a fit for you.
Men – have you put September 12 on your calendar yet?
That’s the night we’ll kick off the first of nine meetings for the Redeemer Men’s Institute. The goal of this new effort is to help each of us assess our individual personal strengths and weaknesses related to spiritual leadership, and to help us all select an area or two where we can begin to intentionally pursue growth.
In addition to the Redeemer Men’s Institute this fall, there are a couple of Bible studies happening for men. On Tuesdays at noon, Matt Gurney is lead a study in the Book of Acts.
And on Fridays every other week, Jim McMurry will be helping lead what we call our “gunlap” group – men 60+ (or thereabouts) – who are also going through Acts.
And on Saturday morning, September 28, plan to join with other men at church for our fall men’s breakfast. (https://redeemerlr.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=df57aea0670b59c32464d5bab&id=2675494c45&e=fbb0a4052b)
Ladies. Don’t forget what’s coming up this fall for you.
First, on Monday September 9, you’re invited to the Fall Women’s Gathering – a time of fellowship for all the ladies in the church (click here (https://redeemerlr.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=df57aea0670b59c32464d5bab&id=6b7eb55ef7&e=fbb0a4052b) to register or for more info):
Then, the fall Women’s Bible Study of the Gospel of Mark begins the week of September 16. You can attend on Monday nights or Tuesday mornings. Again, click here (https://redeemerlr.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=df57aea0670b59c32464d5bab&id=e6448bca98&e=fbb0a4052b) to sign up or to find out more.
For those of you who are interested in knowing more about what we are and what we believe as a church, we have a church membership weekend coming up next month. Spend a Friday night and Saturday morning with us to find out more about Redeemer.
Last Sunday we talked about what it means for us to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Jesus. I was reminded this week that when he was working for FamilyLife, our new Pastoral Associate for marriage and family counseling Carlos Santiago wrote a 15 day “Take Up Your Cross (https://redeemerlr.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=df57aea0670b59c32464d5bab&id=c0164591c6&e=fbb0a4052b)” devotional that is available through the YouVersion Bible app or at Bible.com (https://redeemerlr.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=df57aea0670b59c32464d5bab&id=60f569b369&e=fbb0a4052b). Check it out.
We all know that if we want to get in shape physically, we’re going to need to work on some new habits and start working out a little more. The same is true if we want to be in good shape spiritually. This Sunday, we’ll learn about the healthy spiritual habits that spiritually mature followers of Jesus make a priority in their lives.
See you in church.
Soli Deo Gloria!
Pastor Bob
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