Dear Friends,
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
You’ve read that before (Proverbs 15:1). Maybe you’ve quoted it to yourself – or to someone else – in the middle of conflict.
This week, I read a post online that helped illustrate the truth of this principle from Proverbs. And I decided I’d reprint the piece in its entirety here. I honestly don’t know if sending this to you like this is legal or not. But since I know the author (Scott Sauls) and I’m providing you with a link to his Substack (https://scottsauls.substack.com/)page, I'm hoping if my action is criminal he will have mercy on me and won’t press charges.
Scott begins his post with this picture of comedian Pete Davidson and congressman Dan Crenshaw.
Scott writes:
I enjoy a good Saturday Night Live episode as much as the next person. But I’ll admit, I usually tune in when I want some comic-relief, not because I want to be convicted by a Christ-like example. But when I witnessed the on-screen reconciliation between two public figures who had previously let internal qualms and external wrath divide them, I was humbly reminded of Jesus’s perfect gentleness in which he calls his followers to also walk.
When SNL comedian Pete Davidson crudely mocked Congressman-elect Dan Crenshaw because of his disability and flippantly remarked, “I know he lost his eye in the war or whatever,” no one expected the former Navy SEAL and war hero to respond to the insults in the way that he did. The mockery of Crenshaw’s combat-inflicted disability, motivated by Davidson’s disdain for his political views, resulted in such a strong public backlash that Davidson fell into depression and self- loathing. He wrote in an Instagram post:
“I really don’t want to be on this earth anymore. I’m doing my best to stay here for you but I actually don’t know how much longer I can last. All I’ve ever tried to do was help people. Just remember I told you so.”
Having lost his eye in combat in Afghanistan from an explosion, some might expect Crenshaw to say of Davidson, “Well, it serves him right.” He could have added to the backlash and rallied his own retaliatory mob to add to Davidson’s shame. Instead, the veteran privately reached out to befriend, encourage and speak life-giving words to the comedian. He told him that everyone had a purpose in this world and that:
“God put you here for a reason. It’s your job to find that purpose. And you should live that way.”
Instead of firing back, Crenshaw built a bridge. Instead of shaming and scolding, he spoke tenderly. Instead of seeking vindication through revenge, he sought friendship through peacemaking. Instead of adding to the cycle of outrage, he soundly defeated outrage with a gesture of lovingkindness.
Moved by compassion for the pain that Davidson had brought upon himself at his own expense, the man trained in military strike and defense offered a gentle answer—so gentle, in fact, that it turned away the wrath of another man’s political ire and the wrath of that same man’s subsequent self-loathing.
Later, on Veteran’s Day weekend, the two came face to face on SNL to make peace. Crenshaw offered warm remarks and high praise in reference to Davidson’s own father, who was a New York City firefighter who died in the September 11 terrorist attacks when Davidson was seven years old. At the end of the segment, when he thought they were off-camera, the embattled and humbled comedian leaned over to Crenshaw and whispered, “You are a good man.”
Such stories of kindness, forgiveness, and reconciliation can help us when we are faced with our own decisions. Do we take offense and strike back, or do we extend kindness and offer a gentle answer? It applies when we are at odds with a family member, when we butt heads with a colleague, when our views are criticized online, when our children don’t listen to or respect us, when someone rejects us because of our faith or our race or our social rank, or when we feel misunderstood by those of a different generation or economic situation or culture.
Those of us who identify as Christian have been given a resource that enables us to respond to outrage in a disarming, mending, life-giving way. Because Jesus has loved us at our worst, we can love others at theirs. Because Jesus has forgiven us for all of our wrongs, we can forgive others who have wronged us. Because Jesus offered a gentle answer instead of pouring out punishment and rejection for our offenses and sins, we can offer gentle answers to those who offend and sin against us.
But make no mistake. Jesus’s gentle answer was bold and costly. It included being mercilessly betrayed, losing his lifeblood, and dying on the cross.
Our gentle answers will be costly as well. We must die to ourselves, our self-righteousness, our indignation, and our outrage. For “whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt. 10:39).
Jesus has been gentle toward us so we have good reason to become gentle toward others, including those who insult us. These related words from Jesus may be avoidable, but are nonetheless inescapable:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:43–45).
Because Jesus has covered all of our offenses, we can be among the least offensive and least offended people in the world.
This is the way of the gentle answer.
While we’re on the subject of a gentle answer, you might be interested in this helpful post from Pastor Kevin DeYoung (https://clearlyreformed.org/how-to-make-better-more-careful-more-persuasive-arguments/?utm_source=ClearlyReformed.org&utm_campaign=0e0be1455d-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2024_05_01_06_35&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_-0e0be1455d-%5BLIST_EMAIL_ID%5D) all about how we can engage with those with whom we disagree in ways that create more light and less heat.
Tonight was a very special night as we wrapped up our second full year of Awana. Just look at all these precious kids!
Special thanks to Kendall and Laura White for leading the Awana program for the past two years. And thanks to the dozens of you who have sacrificed to pour into the hearts and lives of these children all year long. You are planting gospel seeds in the hearts of these children that I pray will bear fruit for many years and for generations to come!
School is (almost) out for summer! That means our Roots students are ready for an end of year party!
And here’s a look at Summer Fun Days ahead for our students.
Finally, please start praying now for those students who will be heading to Memphis in June for a week of outreach and ministry.
If you have a student who is planning to be part of Street Reach this summer, and if you haven’t filled out the registration form yet, you can click here (https://redeemerlr.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/2257562) and make it happen.
If you’ve been visiting Redeemer and you’d like to know more about what it means to be a member in our church, we hope you can join us in May for our Friday Evening/Saturday Morning Church Membership Class. It’s a great opportunity to learn more about Redeemer and to get to know leaders and other people who are new to our church.
Mother’s Day is less than two weeks away. It’s always a special day for us as we dedicate children to the Lord. If you have a child who has not had been dedicated, you are welcome to add your name to our upcoming ceremony on Mother’s Day, May 12. Reach out to Jen Gurney with any questions.
Men, are you signed up yet for our upcoming men’s breakfast? Saturday, May 18, we’ll gather for food and fellowship. Click here (https://redeemerlr.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/2277993) and let us know you’re planning to attend.
Our Backyard Bible Club for younger children will be all about the Fruit of the Spirit this summer. Here are the dates. And here’s a link (https://redeemerlr.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/2268897) so you can get more info and sign your kids up now!
And for those of you who want to get a head start on adding our upcoming summer activities to your personal or family calendar, you can download the summer calendar by clicking here (https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/vd4uvdr62ovnbr0i6eird/FINAL_2024MAY-AUG_Church-Cal-by-Ministry-Blocks-Rev04232024.pdf?rlkey=l0fuco7zzohmu7w7nf7t94bzh&dl=0). Or you can pick up a copy at church on Sunday.
The Book of Revelation takes a turn in chapter six when the first seals are opened and four horsemen come riding onto the scene, bringing war, violence, famine and pestilence. We’ll think together about what to make of these vivid images and what they reveal as we continue our study of Revelation this Sunday.
See you in church.
Soli Deo Gloria!
Pastor Bob
Resource Info
